Should I fade?
by McGwee
Summary: rated for theme later dealing with drugs and other issues Dai-chan finally ups and leaves behind all those who love him, but when they meet again, will he still be the Dai they remember?
1. Fade

**Author Note:** This is the first time I've tried writing a digimon fic but I'm a big fan of the angsty Dai-chan fics and I wanted to give this a go!

**Rating:** PG13 for now, might change depending on what way the wind blows me to write.

**Disclaimer**: Alas, digimon is not mine, for if it was, I'd make it possible for people to find the good DVDs that let you watch it in Japanese too.

Was I nothing? Did I really earn so much scorn? Would they be happier if I left and never came back? If I disappeared without a trace? Hmf, most likely, so that's what I'll do . . . disappear . . . no one will miss me . . . the chocolate-haired youth said as he picked up his backpack and duffel bag.

"Sayonara fellow Motomiyas." He said as he left.

" Daisuke! Where are you!" A chocolate-haired teen yelled as she noticed where she was, ran up to an apartment, and knocked load enough to wake the dead ( which was what basically opened the door).

" Huh, Jun? This obsession is really- What's wrong?" A blond-haired teen said as he saw the crying girl. Jun jump-hugged the blond and began sobbing into his **very** wrinkled shirt.

" I've-e b-been up an-nd down town-n and-d-d I can-n't find-d D-daisuke!" Wailed Jun. The blond scratched his head.

" Uh, maybe he's out doing... things..." He said as Jun shook her head.

" No Yamato! I called all of Dai's friends already and none of them have seen him either! And I know somethings up because he left those toys he always has!" She yelled. Then she held out a small blue item with a blank screen and a bigger gray item with a flip screen. Yamato stared, wide-eyed.

" Dai's digivice... and d-terminal... he wouldn't leave those... unless he didn't... want to be found..." Yamato muttered to himself.

" You know what those are? Whatever! Help me find Dai!" Jun yelled. Yamato noticed people looking out their doors and ushered her into his- "Whata pigsty!" Jun proclaimed when she entered.

"Yes Koushiro, I know it's really late, but Dai left his D3 and d-terminal behind, but still see if you can find him!" Yamato said as he hung up the phone. He had called everyone and none of them could find Dai either. Jun had gone to the police to file a missing persons report. Yamato was becoming very worried. It wasn't like Daisuke to just leave like this, like he didn't want anyone to find him. What could have happened to him? Yamato's thoughts flew for about twenty minutes when his dad came in.

" Yama, what's up?" His dad said. Yamato shook his head and sat down on the couch.

" Dai's disappeared... we can't find him anywhere... He left his D3 and D-terminal behind, so we can't track him either... I'm worried dad..." Yamato said as he shook his head in a forsaken fashion. His dad looked thoughtful.

" Well... If Dai's gone away of his own free will, finding him will be hard... But if he hasn't left the city, which I don't think he did for simple reasons, them there's only so many places he could have gone... My money's on the poor side of town, where all the broken homes and homeless live. There are lots of other runaways living there... He might have sought shelter among them..." Mr. Ishida looked thoughtful as Yamato just stared.

Dai, did you run away from home? Why! Yamato thought... so he thought.

" I don't know why Dai, that's something his family and friends need to solve..." Yamato stared.

" ... I said that out loud? Dang I'm losing it here... So much for Mr. cool..." He sneered then sighed.

" Don't worry Yamato," said Mr. Ishida, putting an arm around his sons shoulders, " Thing will work out in the end." Then, Mr. Ishida up and yawned. " But staying up worrying yourself into a comma isn't going to bring Dai back either, so get some sleep."

" Yeah, lord knows I can sleep now..."

"Ah, ah, ah... " Daisuke took deep breaths, tired from running so long. He wanted to just fall asleep on his bed, but he knew he couldn't. He couldn't go home now. Not when he had ran so far... But still... He had no money or food, no bed, no nothing. "Damn... what am I gonna do? Sigh"

" That depends on you." Dai jumped about tweny feet after that and then turned around. A girl about Yamato's age was staring at him. She had the look of someone that had spent a lot of time on the streets. She wore short blue jean shorts, cut-offs to be honest. Her shirt was a wife-beater that stoped above her belly button and she wore a black treach coat and scarf. Her raven hair was cut in the boyish style, cut around the frame of her face. Sliver eyes, soft sliver eyes, looked him stright in the face as she spoke again in her tomboyish voice. " It's your choice to stay or go, oh, you were speaking out loud, just so you know."

" Oh... I ws wondering about that... I don't wanna go home... But I know I can't live by myself, not yet..." Dai looked down at his shoelaces and started playing with them. The girl smiled.

" There's a small bunch of us that live together in the alleys. We don't have a lot of food, so don't expect a feast or anything, but if you want, you can stay with us. We don't mind as long as you pull your own weight that is." She winked and walked further down the alley.

" All right! Lead the way!" Dai never knew how much things would change... Something he wanted more then anything.

**AN**: This is the first time I tried writing an Angsty Digimon fic, like I said before, and I know this chapter wasn't anything special, and that I have major gammer problems, but in order to get the story moving the way I want it to, I need to put this up. Help me want to contiune this story!Oh and I know that you don't use -chan with boys, but it will be used here to some affection and prehaps scarism, so live with that, and sorry for misspellings. **_REVIEW!_**


	2. Pride

**Author Note:** This is the first time I've tried writing a digimon fic but I'm a big fan of the angsty Dai-chan fics and I wanted to give this a go!

**Rating:** PG13 for now, might change depending on what way the wind blows me to write.

**Disclaimer**: Alas, digimon is not mine, for if it was, I'd make it possible for people to find the good DVDs that let you watch it in Japanese too.

**A/N**: Here are reposes, and I won't use names because I only got three and you know who you are. First, cookies and koduos go to the TWO people who must have fully read the chapter and DIDN'T comment on the use of -chan with Dai. To the one person that did (you know who you are... ----#) if you had fully read the chapter even the notes, you'd know that I use Dai-chan are two reasons.

**1)** Because it's kind of used when refering to younger boys, boys you feel ready close to in a non-romantic way or in Sarcasim.

**2)** Because I happen to prefer referring to him as Dai-chan, you don't like it, don't read it.

Done ranting good, open-minded readers. Oh, and can someone remind me how to spell Miyoko's name or if this is right. It's slipping my mind right now...

Eleven young kids sat in a room. By the way they were sitting you could tell that they were waiting for a brown-haired teen with a yellow laptop to speak. " Wellll... I tried my hardest to find a way to track Daisuke, but... the thing is that I just don't think I'll be able to find him without the d-3 or his d-termnal... gomen..." Yamato stood up.

" Don't worry Koushirou, we'll find Dai one way or another. My dad told that the best, or most common, place that runaways- yes runaways. Dai's runaway, get use to it." Yamato added when he saw everyone's faces at the word runaway. Ken just shook his head.

" I don't know... but to me, the words 'Dai' and 'runaway' don't mix." He said sadly. Jun just pulled her knees to her chest, sobbing slighty. Hikari and Sora went to comfort her, but they were about to cry as well. Inori just sat their looking at his feet while Jyou petted him on the head the way a older brother might to a upset younger one. Miyoko went to Ken to talk to him quitely.Takeru sat looking out the window, as if Dai would just walk by shouting about forgetting to meet them or some thing... Taichi joined Yamato as they walked to where Koushirou was typing.

" Kou... what are you doing?" Tai asked softly. It just seemed wrong to be loud, not without Daisuke... Koushirou just shook his head.

" I thought that maybe he was carring something use on him that I could track, a cellphone or something... maybe we should just wait for the police... or intill something hits me..." Kou sighed. Tracking someone with nothing on them to track them with wasn't his idea of a past time.

" Dang... I don't wanna sit around and do nothing right now... Oi, Yama, weren't you going to say something earlier?" Tai asked, tipping his head to the side.

" Oh yeah, dad side that the getto was the place runaways went. A lot of empty places to hide and stuff because he thinks that Dai didn't leave town." Yamato didn't seem to noice that everyone was watching him now.

" Why's that?" Asked Taichi.

" I don't know... maybe I can ask him... Take, where that cellphone of yours?" Takeru tossed him the phone without even turning his head, him alone not watching Yama. Yama called up his dad's number.

" Hello, Ishida."

"...Dad..."

" Yamato! Is something wrong!" Yamato could hear a thump. His dad must have tried jumping out of his seat, forgetting he was sitting at his desk. Sure enought, a river of swears filled the phone.

" Dad... why do you think Dai didn't leave town?"

" Oh... Hmm... because even if he ran away, Dai doesn't seem like the type that would stray too far away from where he grew up. He wouldn't feel safe anywhere else, at least for now. Sooner or later, he might leave."

" Oh... thanks dad."

" Yama, don't give up hope. The bond between you kids is strong. Dai'll come back, just you see, someday." click

4 years later

(**A/N**: One hell of a time jump, eh?)

_"I'm empty I need fulfilling yes I do love._

_To the ceiling when I do love._

_I get this feeling that I'm in love."_

Sweating huskes of flesh moved in/out of beat with the sounds of a woman singing. Lights flashed and smoke roamed free. Tongues darted in and out of mouths and bodies press up against others, just for the hell of it.

_"I'm restless can't you see I try my bestest._

_To be good girl because it's just us._

_So take me now and do me justice._

_I'm waiting patiently. Anticipating your arrival"_

Boys pressed up agaisnt boys. Girls tackled other girls. Little white pills and small handfuls of white dust could be seen everywhere. Some couples shared, and moved the pill from mouth to mouth. People started to laugh out.

_"And I'm hating It takes so long to get to me house. To take me out._

_Tonight I'm gonna give you all me love in the backseat._

_Bubble Pop Electric. Gonna speed it down and slow it up in the back seat._

_Bubble Pop Electric. Uh-O in the back seat."_

A small group in the back were staring at the scence before them.

" Dude, they're totally going to get buzzed!" A pair of glasses gleamed. Small chuckles followed.

" Oi, Reflection, they are already buzzed." A gentle yet cruel voice answered. A sigh was let out, following the turning of heads to another boy...

" Look, I'm tired and board. Just keep an eye out for Harpy so we can split." He sighed at them, while popping in a pill. The girl stared at him and the boy called Reflection laughed.

" Uh-no, looks like Spirit's got his undies in a twist! Heh heh he-SHIT!" Reflection said as he caught sight of flashing lights. He stood up and shouted the magic word that ends ANY party, "COPS!" In a flash, people began running for their lives and such. Pride, the girl and Reflection ran too, only to find police bursting throught every opening. Pride saw the least guarded place and ran for it.

" Apathy, Reflection, run for it! Find Harpy and- GET OFF ME!" Pride shouted as the police grabbed him. Apathy and Reflection ran past them and hopped a fence outside, putting them out of harms way. The police forced a pair of armcuffs on him and stuffed him in the back of a car. Pride was beinging to see lights everywhere. " ...crap... not a good time... for the drugs to kick in..." The police kept him back there for the better part of an hour, before taking him to where he guessed was down town.

" Well, well, well," The driving police said to him, seeing Pride's expresstion, " I'd say that your under the influnce of those drugs we found tonight, eh? That's worth a gooood lonnnng lock up son." The police's laughder was the last thing Pride remembered hearing that night, besides himself.

"... Why do I feel like, things are going... to go down hill... from here?"

" Ishida-san, where are you going?" A man at a desk asked a middle aged blond man as he left. Mr. Ishida turned and lit a cig.

" Last night the police raided a rave that was supeccted to have illegal drugs present. They did find drugs and more over, they manged to catch someone, so I'm going to see if I can interview them and get the scoop on last night. Ja ne." Mr. Ishida left and headed down the stairs to his car. 'What he doesn't need to know is that the boy they caught, matches the same description of one called Daisuke Motomia'

**A/N**: Yeah, so let me know if I should keep on going or let this story die... The song is Gewn Stefani, and I don't own it. R&R!


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